A plan for “how to get over a divorce”
Quite simply, there is no right or wrong way of getting through a significant life change like a divorce or separation. No matter how it happens, relationship breakdowns often involve a lot of physical and emotional upheaval. Here’s some advice on how to get over a divorce.
With so much going on it can be easy for us to forget that events like divorce and separation can also be an opportunity: to learn about yourself, to think about what you really want in life and maybe even do things differently in the future. One person’s post-relationship journey will no doubt be different to someone else’s.
Take for instance, Dianne Laurance, who uses the power of her social media channel, Dumped Wife’s Revenge, to heal herself and empower other women to rebuild their lives after a failed relationship. It’s as lighthearted as it is ostentatious. But despite whether or not it’s your cup of tea, there is at least one thing we can all learn from it: the importance of keeping yourself in the best shape possible, in order to come out the other side ready for new challenges and adventures.
4 elements of any plan for “how to get over a divorce”
When thinking about how to get over a divorce, like most significant life changes this too involves lots of planning and “big-picture” thinking. It also involves asking yourself some tough questions. Bear in mind that the answers may not be the same for everyone, but the broad questions will be. We’ve made it easy for you by breaking it down into the four areas of your life to take stock of and make a plan for.
Safety is the number one concern and one of our most fundamental human needs. As mentioned elsewhere on our sites, family violence is an unfortunate reality for many families and leaving may not be so straightforward.
- Am I safe?
- Are my children safe?
- Am I in a position to leave straight away or will I need to plan my exit?
- What safety measures might I need to put in place?
Life is busy, and people have many responsibilities to fulfil, so it can feel selfish or fanciful to think prioritise ourselves. The truth is that good health is one of the only things that’s in your control, especially in a time of upheaval. Take measures to prioritise your long-term wellbeing puts you in a position to deal with challenges as they inevitably arise.
- What is my diet like at the moment? Am I eating healthily and exercising? What can help me maintain good habits?
- How well am I sleeping? What can I do to improve my sleeping habits?
- Am I making time to socialise and do the things I enjoy? What would make that possible if that’s proving difficult?
Tied into your mental and emotional health is your attitude. This is what will centre you when you start to feel tested. It’s easy to let powerful emotions like anger or resentment get the better of you. You will need to channel these feelings in a way that is true to you, but not at the expense of what’s good for you in the long term.
- Am I doing what I can to keep it out of the court?
- Have I thought about other ways of negotiating?
- Am I making reactionary decisions and do they really serve you or your family long term?
- How many people are my decisions impacting?
Last – but perhaps most importantly – clients often feel like they have to take on the hits of a separation on their own. This is absolutely untrue – your best chance at recovery and resilience comes when you have the right team of people around you.
- Am I with the right family lawyer?
- Do I need counselling to get you through any difficult emotions?
- Do I need to see a financial planner if you’re looking at a change in your circumstances?
- Is my support network objective as well as nurturing?
Taken all together, this is a long list of questions. It won’t always be possible to answer them all at once and some of these might even seem unrealistic. You might left thinking “I wish, but there’s no way I can do that!” This is what we do best. Here at Loukas Law, we pride ourselves on our holistic practice.
Please call us now on (08) 9381 0208 or fill out this form to schedule your first 30-min free telephone appointment. As family lawyers and people who care, we have the right mix of experience and resources to help you through difficult times, and come out the other side in the best shape possible.
You can also find Dumped Wife’s Revenge at her website.